Real Stories and Reason for Hope Regarding Mental Health in the Legal Profession

Content Warning: Self-harm, suicidal ideation, eating disorders

Shedding light on realities that far-too-frequently remain under wraps or unattended in even the most modern and well-meaning organizations, contributors to the groundbreaking new compilation, The Right Not to Remain Silent: The Truth About Mental Health in the Legal Profession,joined community members from across Ontario at a special OBA Author Series event in January to courageously share their personal mental health struggles, as law students, professors and practising lawyers, in order to dispel stigma, drive positive change in legal culture, and demonstrate to others navigating similar challenges that they are not alone.

Following are excerpts from the remarks the panelists delivered, with tremendous compassion and candour, during the recorded portion of the event, which surfaced solutions, supports and, above all, hope.

NOTE: Following the panel discussion at this OBA Community event, presented by the OBA’s Mindful Lawyer CPD Series and Peer Support Network, President Kathry Manning facilitated an informal Q&A session with attendees and speakers that was not recorded (none of which is reproduced here).

“I knew that I had no armour to fend off the darkness”

“And after a conversation, my family doctor responded, ‘I think you’re dealing with depression, Tom, and I’d like to prescribe some medication.’ Those words ripped through me like a jagged knife. I had a mental health problem and people would believe I was crazy. Unfortunately, at the time, I believed all the stigmatizing myths about mental illness. Mental health education was not part of my law school experience. I recall walking out saying it was not true and refusing treatment.

“I was worried I would lose my job if anyone found out that I was on medication for a mental illness. I believed that mental illness was a weakness rather than an illness that I could just get over by trying harder. My law firm could never find out. I reached the conclusion that I was overworked and that things would improve if I could just get some sleep. Deep down, I knew this was a lie. I was depressed, but in denial, walking out of the doctor’s office. I knew that I had no armour to fend off the darkness. And the depression came and went over the next 14 years.

“[…]The road to recovery has been long, and every day is a recovery. What I now know about the reality of mental illness is a long way from what I believed as a young lawyer. I no longer believe the stigmatizing messages about mental illness. I now realize that mental illness is an illness. I wish that anyone reading this chapter will realize, no matter how difficult things are, there’s always hope and things can get better.” - Dr. Thomas Telfer, Professor, Western University, Faculty of Law

“We all deserve to be here and to belong here and to work here”

“As a woman of colour in this profession,  I also had this innate belief that I somehow needed to work twice as hard to prove that I deserved to be there, and that I didn’t mess it up for the next South Asian woman to come down the line because I was the only one at both my articling firm and then the firm I joined. And I was like, well, I don’t want them to feel like they made a mistake hiring the first one, so they don’t want to hire the second one. And then, as the pandemic was rolling around, I developed, I guess you could call it a habit. I’d actually always had this habit of nail-biting, that developed into something much more intense [later diagnosed as obsessive-compulsive disorder].

“[…]I felt like a failure, and I felt like I didn’t belong in the legal profession, and I felt like I never would. And I thought something was seriously wrong with me seeing my colleagues who could work those 200 hours and I couldn’t. And so, while I was writing the chapter I had made the switch from private practice into government and I came to terms with the fact that I think people with mental health concerns, whether they be diagnosed or undiagnosed, we can all still succeed in this profession. And that it requires a certain degree of courage to come forward, and that doesn’t meant that you have to – might make your life a little easier – but we all deserve to be here and to belong here and to work here, and requesting any accommodations or leaves of absence is not in any way a reflection of you or your capabilities, but actually just the way the profession works.” - Yadesha Satheaswaran, Assistant Crown Attorney, Ontario Ministry of the Attorney General

“Each time I speak candidly about my eating disorder, the less of a grip it has over my life”

“And in my professional life I eventually disclosed my eating disorder to individuals at my firm. And I was honest about needing flexibility for therapy appointments and the occasional day off when things became unmanageable. And, to my relief, I was not met with judgement but empathy. And while not everyone can fully understand the intricacies of an eating disorder, it’s sobering to know that my supervisors recognized that I needed support to remain a productive member of the team. And that was quite a life-changing revelation for me.

“For so long I believed that admitting any personal weakness would destroy my credibility. And each time I speak candidly about my eating disorder, I find the less of a grip it has over my life and how I move through the world. And looking back on my journey, I can see the subtle and not so subtle ways in which law school and professional practice can exacerbate disordered eating. The drive for perfection, the emphasis on composure, and the unspoken pressures around appearance can create a dangerous recipe for those already vulnerable to body image issues.  

“We’ve seen a growing awareness around mental health in law, but there is still a long way to go, particularly regarding conditions like eating disorders that remain shrouded in silence. I remain hopeful because I have seen promising shifts. Law firms are starting to host wellbeing workshops and professional organizations are offering more mental health resources. And while the journey is far from complete, every step is a good step … and if there’s one thing I’d like you to remember from my story, it’s that you’re not diminished by your difficulties, but you’re humanized by them.” - Courtney Wilson, Associate, Rachlin & Wolfson LLP

“We can all play a role to create a culture that prioritizes wellbeing”

“What we need to do as organizations, as law firms, as law schools throughout the profession, is create the safe environment where people can normalize having these types of conversations. It starts at the top with leaders modelling the behaviour to the extent they’re comfortable doing it. That makes it safe and okay for others to do as well. And ensuring that there is a safe environment in which people can come forward and talk about what they’re struggling without fear or judgement or the impact it might have on their career – as scary as it is do. By doing that, together, we can all play a role to create a culture that prioritizes wellbeing.

“[…]Coming out of that deep, dark hole was not a straight line – it had two steps forward, one step back – and it took a long time. My return to work was designed to be able to start with a few hours a day, a couple of days a week and slowly reintegrate. So that flexibility was crucial.

“And the third key element was alignment. The last thing that I needed when I had to focus all of my time and attention and effort that I could on recovery would’ve been to have different stakeholders disagreeing with each other – whether it was my therapist or the workplace or the disability insurers. Fortunately for me, they were aligned and everybody agreed that it was my therapist who had the final say. And that alignment allowed me to focus all of my time and attention on recovery. I emphasize that because my experience is we’re getting better at raising awareness. We’re getting better at reducing stigma. We’re not yet getting better at lowering the incidents of mental health challenges in the legal profession. But hopefully that will start to happen.” - Michael Herman, General Counsel and Partner at Gowling WLG (Toronto)

The Right Not to Remain Silent can be purchased through LexisNexis ( All royalties to be donated to CAMH).

OBA members can access the first part of this Author Series event, for free, here.